WARNING: This article contains sarcasm and is laced with tongue-in-cheek writing. Read at your own risk. 

When I was much younger and obviously naive, I made the incorrect assumption that everyone in the world had a strong desire to succeed and achieve great things in their limited time on this earth.

After many years of coaching and consulting plus doing massive amount of research about people, human nature and the way our brains work, I am now more convinced than ever that a majority of people really have a stronger desire to fail in life rather than to succeed.

With my hands thrown up in the air and a heavy sigh coming out of my mouth, I write this article for those people that are tired of hearing about success principles and just want a few super quick and easy tips on failure.

This article is for the anti-success crowd.

Unfortunately, you may or may not know if you belong in that group.

Years of experience has convinced me that a person can follow these 5 simple steps and fail miserably at anything and everything they attempt to accomplish.

For those that are whining that 5 steps are too many, you can probably cut corners and just implement a few of the steps that follow and reach the level of semi-failure. Which is still a failure. Maybe just a failure with a slacker attitude.

Without any further delay and because I know that most failure minded people aren’t really into “reading”, here are the quick and easy steps to becoming a pro at accomplishing nothing in life:

1. Be a Jerk - Dale Carnegie wrote a fantastic book called How To Win Friends and Influence People. You should NOT read that book. If it existed, you should read How To Repel People and Piss Off Everyone Around You. Be loud. Be obnoxious. Think only of yourself. Never be interested in what other people want or desire. Combine this with #2 and #3 below and you will reach levels of failure reserved for some of the biggest losers and jerks in history.

2. Be a “Know It All” - claiming that one knows everything and shutting down all ability and desire to learn new things is one of the keys to complete failure. In fact, this may be the shortcut that ambitious failures really crave. This is closely related to #1 except that some “know it alls” keep to themselves and never share with others how they are experts in everything. Jerks have a strong desire to tell the world that they have obtained incredible amounts of knowledge and they will not rest until everyone knows how smart they are. 

3. Stop Listening - also related to #1 and #2, but with a slight twist. You should never pay attention to what anyone else says. Ignore other points of view. Be closed minded. When other people are talking, the best strategy is too ignore what they are saying until it is your turn to talk again. Or…even better, just interrupt anytime someone tries to tell you something or provide you with valuable feedback or information. You can hasten your path to failure by loudly interrupting (see #1) and telling the other person that you know all the answers (see #2).

4. Never Focus - if you have made it this far in the article and you really want to fail like a pro, you should immediately stop reading and go search for cat videos on YouTube. I will make it easy on you, CLICK HERE NOW. And if you ever find your self working diligently toward anything that may be worthwhile and important, CLICK HERE or HERE.

5. Quit  - if you have attempted every other failure strategy but you continue to see success creep into areas of your life, then the best technique to implement is the strategy of doing nothing. Just quit. Give up. Combine quitting with a “what’s the point of exerting any effort anyway” attitude and you will fail at mach speed.

BONUS TIP - after you have quit pursuing any worthwhile endeavor and you have embraced a life of failure, you can really reach the upper echelons of the anti-success lifestyle by continuously blaming other people for your position in life.

"Icing On The Cake" BONUS TIP -  you will also get bonus failure points if every word out of your mouth is laced with self pity and a whiny tone about how unfair life is.

We live in a hyper connected world. Some may even say that people are over connected.

We have mini computers in our pockets and on our wrists. Some people have cameras attached to their glasses or their hats. Our locations, health and even moods can be gauged in real time with technology. Social media allows us to know everything that 100’s of people are doing and thinking while at the same time sharing our status with the world.

Many are resorting to technology and social media sabbaticals just so they can have a time of quiet…a rare commodity in our noisy world.

As a business owner, entrepreneur or just an individual wanting to keep up and succeed in today’s world, our technology and advancements in technology can make our lives better in so many ways. But gadgets, no privacy and too much information can also overwhelm us with choices and make it difficult to focus on the most important and potentially the most profitable actions.

While our advancements have allowed us to increase productivity and get more done with less in many situations, the great equalizer is still the 24 hour day that limits every person on earth.

The successful person must constantly evaluate their connections to insure that they are maximizing the limited time and energy that constrains each one of us.

Your time and your focus feeds your energy. And therefore your success is directly related to those items that you connect with.

Focus on these 5 connections to avoid distractions, stay focused and maintain your energy and power:

Connect To People

There are people that build you up. And there are people that tear you down. Successful people can spot the difference and they control who they give access. This does not imply that you are mean to people or ignore situations when friends or family are in need. But it does mean that you should evaluate your associations and proactively connect to those that enhance your life. Connect to people that celebrate you, not just tolerate you. Get a mentor or a coach.

Connect To Places

Geography is important. I never considered this to be a big deal until I shook up my comfort zone by becoming a permanent traveler. There are places and climates that make you feel more alive and energetic. And there are locations that can zap you of your energy. Some people love the vibe of working in a cool coffee shop. Other people can create and work in a quiet, darkened room. Find your “happy” place and go there when it is time to get the job done. Or to relax and recharge.

Connect to Things

This may sound odd coming from someone that is a self proclaimed minimalist, but there are things that may add to and enhance our lives. High tech gadgets can be huge time wasters that only feed our egos. But they can also save time and make our lives easier. I love having access to tremendous amount of data and information with my iPad and iPhone. But I also get great joy from an old school paper journal or a hard back book. And we all have our favorite sweater, cool shirt or jeans that add that extra swagger to our steps when we put them on.

Connect to Information

Information is a double edged sword in today’s society. We have access to massive amounts of data, entertainment, news and sports. Years ago, your favorite team may be on television on rare occasions. Today you can most likely watch every game with every team in all sports from every corner of the world at any given time. Plus great shows like Honey Boo Boo, Duck Dynasty and The Batchelor. And while more and more information and entertainment is great, what are you doing to increase your wisdom? Recognize the information that feeds your mind and spirit and makes you a better person. That may mean turning some channels and devices off while actively searching for seminars, training, books and articles that make you a wiser person.

Connect To Something Bigger Than You

For many years I thought the world revolved around me. I worked hard and achieved some levels of success. As I mature, I realize that there is a bigger plan out there and I play a role in that plan. You may be in a season where you are assigned to work in a company that just makes widgets. But you may be called to start a company that creates a food source that eliminates hunger in third world countries. If you are self absorbed and only thinking of yourself, you may miss that unique opportunity. Always be open to connecting to a cause, mission or vision that is beyond anything you could ever imagine on your own.

We are influenced by many people over the course of our lives. We seek some mentors and some are forced upon us. And then there are those we are attached to from birth.

I am blessed to have known both sets of grandparents and both have had a significant impact on my life. Many people miss out on knowing and spending time with the generations that came before them. I value the many experiences and lessons that I have learned from my entire family, but these 3 critical lessons learned from my grandfathers have defined me and made me the person that I am today:

Keep A Positive Attitude

Both my grandfathers grew up and lived in small town or rural area in northeast Mississippi. While neither would be considered well schooled or educated, they both possessed wisdom and characteristics that stretch beyond what one can learn from a formal education. 

The ability to look at the positive in most situations is a trait that everyone can benefit from. My grandfathers seemed to always exude a positive mindset toward all that was going on around them. One grandfather never said much, which also means negative words never came out of his mouth. 

My other grandfather was more open in his communication, but his attitude seemed to always look at the positive in most situations. I can only recall a few instances where negative “adult language” was blasted out of his mouth. But the harsh words were directed at a particularly challenging catfish that was not cooperating with the cleaning process. Other than cleaning fish after a fresh catch, both my grandfathers taught me to keep a positive attitude.

Stay Calm

My paternal grandfather - Pop James - was a business man that owned an automobile parts and repair shop in the small town of Hamilton, Mississippi. At various times he also sold tractors, gasoline and other services that would benefit the local area which was primarily a farming community. He also had 6 children plus a large brood of grandchildren. 

During most of my childhood, Pop James lived in a small house across the street from his repair shop. Holiday gatherings could attract 40-60 family members to his humble 6 room house with 1 bathroom. That would also include groups of children in all age brackets. 

Our current society seems to get uncomfortable when 6 people are in a room and we only have 5 chairs. I recall gatherings at Pop James home where over 40 people were in a room that was not much bigger than most bedrooms. Sofas built for 3 people would have 13 people crammed in and on them. People on top of people on top of people. 

I recently ran across some pictures and slides that backed up my memories. You could count 25 people in one picture sitting around enjoying Christmas dinner or opening presents (or a single present since multiple gifts did not make sense with that many in the family). The one constant in all the pictures is a peaceful, calm Pop James sitting in the middle. We never heard a stern word. He never seemed stressed. He always seems to remain calm even if chaos was breaking out all around him. 

A family that large can also experience many ups and downs including marriage, divorce, birth and death. Pop James demeanor and countenance never changed. I learned later in life that the foundation of his peace was his spiritual beliefs. Pop James taught me to stay calm.

Be Friendly

My maternal grandfather - Granddaddy - may rank as one of the most influential people in my life. I was the first grandchild born into his family and I think that the bond that was created may be as strong as any in a family structure. 

We spent a bunch of time together. I would stay at his house for many weeks during the summer breaks from school. We would go fishing, work in his garden and just spend time in his small 10X10 hut at the gate of the chemical plant where he worked as a guard. 

But I can honestly say that Grandaddy “never met a stranger” and that made an impact on me. He would visit his local hospital and just walk up and down the halls stopping in to say hello to almost everyone. He did the same at the nursing home. I still remember him talking to people about almost any topic. He seemed to always have a genuine heart for other people. Grandaddy taught me to always be friendly.

I miss both of my Grandfathers and think of them often. But I am thankful for the lifelong lessons that they taught me - be positive, stay calm and be friendly.

I am sure you learned some valuable lessons from your grandfathers or relatives also. Share the wisdom in the comments below.

With it being Halloween month we are forced to come face to face with some scary stuff. 
 
While most of the time I attempt to encourage and uplift all of you diehard business owners, there are times when we all need a good squirm in your seat, scream at the top of your lungs, baseball bat against your head dose of real life, scary reality. No, I am not talking about some bad “B” movie. I am talking about living the everyday life of an entrepreneur. 

There was a local talk show host in the Atlanta area (he was also syndicated in other markets) a few years ago named Neal Boortz. He recently retired but he was known as an in your face, neo-conservative host that speaks very bluntly and he doesn’t hold back any punches. One of his catch phrases was “welcome to the church of the painful truth.”  

If you bristle at putting the words church and painful in the same sentence, then you were never forced to sit on a wooden pew at the First Baptist Church while wearing your triple knit polyester pants. I think that scientists have now proven that there is nothing that creates less friction in the world than a 9 year old boy wearing triple knit pants sitting on a wooden pew. It is physically impossible for the pants to stick to the pew, therefore slipping will occur and the previously mentioned 9 year old boy will end up in a crumpled mass on the floor no less than 8 times during the excruciatingly long 20 minute sermon that seems more like 2 hours. I won’t even mention what can happen to the clip on tie during these sinful slips. Stern looks and a guarantee of a spanking sometime in the future also highlight these joyous spiritual events.   

Yes, pain and church can go together.  

Why do I use the title church of the painful truth in an article for successful business people and entrepreneurs? Because, many times we need to be reminded of the basic truths of business success. We go through our day to day business trying to keep the business operating or make enough money to pay our bills this week and we may forget some of the basic painful truths of business ownership. Even growing and thriving businesses need to be reminded of these basic truths from time to time.

Painful Truth 1 – You are the boss. For some people this may cause a loud hallelujah shout, but it can also be trouble for others. There is no one to tell you what to do on a day to day and minute by minute basis. Nobody to kick you in the bottom or make you get out of bed.  

Painful Truth 2 – Education never ends. Some people think that after they finish their 11th grade year in high school they can just coast through life and never read or study ever again. Wrong! We must be constantly reading and educating ourselves. It keeps our minds sharp and allows creative thoughts to grow. Education also costs money. Don’t be guilty of driving a $50,000 car and only spending $50 on programming your brain.

Painful Truth 3 – Business requires investment of money. Anyone that thinks they are going to create a million dollar business without investing money and capital into marketing, systems, infrastructure and other tools is living in lottery world. I do not totally believe in the saying that it takes money to make money, but do not be fooled into thinking you can create money out of thin air.

Painful Truth 4 – Success requires effort. Not normal effort – extraordinary effort. In the book Master Key to Riches, Napoleon Hill talks about the principle of going the extra mile. The masses try to figure out how they can get by with the least amount of effort possible. Successful business people always look for ways to do more. Ways to be more productive.

Painful Truth 5 – Nobody said it would be easy. Life has ups and downs. Good and bad. Being a business owner is not meant for everyone. You will be challenged. You may lose sleep. You may do things that the average person never dreams of doing. Business success is great. Business failure is a tough punch in the gut.

Is it easy? No. Is it fun?  Most of the time. Is it worth it? You bet. Why would anyone want to subject themselves to the punishment of being a business owner? Wouldn’t it just be EASIER to go get a job and work for someone else for 40 years? ABSOLUTELY NOT!  

Yes, there are some ups and downs in any business but we were created to do great things. I know that people that work in jobs can do great things also, but I know for a fact that I was not designed to keep a seat warm in a cubicle. I do not think you were either. YOU were designed to be different. YOU were designed to succeed. YOU were created to change the world. Don’t settle for anything less from yourself.

Thank you for attending this week’s sermon from the church of the painful truth. Instead of passing the collection plate for donations I will just request a written comment below.  Amen.

I love reading the book of Proverbs in the Old Testament. It includes great leadership and business development training that was written by an ancient Middle Eastern king that many believe was one of the wealthiest man that has ever lived. For many years I would read at least a chapter from Proverbs every morning.

In all my reading, I have not seen the phrase, “thou shall not fool thyself.” I am not claiming that the phrase is Biblical, but I do think it is one of the basic rules of business. And really a basic rule in life. I see people everyday that are trudging through their daily life thinking they are doing all the right things to succeed, when they may actually be living in a dream world and fooling themselves. 

While I am on a spiritual theme, I will give you a list of 7 Deadly Business Sins that will absolutely without a doubt keep you stuck and wondering why you or your business are not prospering. Or, at least frustrated because your not experiencing growth.

1. Not Enough Marketing – There is a reason that I devote a large part of my time to coaching and teaching marketing concepts. Every vehicle needs some form of fuel to make it go. Marketing is the gasoline that makes the business machine go. Don’t waste the time of going to the pump, getting out of your car, spilling gas on your shoes, and stepping in gum for just $3.50 worth of gas. Fill ‘er up! I recommend that you have a minimum of 5 different marketing methods or funnels operating in your business at any given time.

2. Laziness – We live in an instant society where good old fashioned hard work has almost disappeared. Most people need to just do more. Get busy. Hustle. Stop waiting on someone else. Stop sleeping so much and watching TV. The 8 hour day is a myth to the true business owner/entrepreneur. I doubt that Sam Walton worked “nine to five” days. Check your schedule and see how much actual productive work you are doing in your business. Not just sitting around thinking about business or wasting time online but actual work. Always look for ways that you can get more work done and be more efficient.

3. Not Getting Educated – Most people reading this spent at least 12 years getting a basic education. Some even went on to get additional degrees to learn a trade or skill. It took me 6 years to get a 4 year degree at Georgia Tech! If we went to school for that long to learn how to work a $32,000/year job, what makes us think we can watch a few YouTube videos or Google “how to start a business” to learn how to become a multimillionaire business mogul? Always be in the learning mode. Read, attend seminars and always have an open mind.

4. Lack of Commitment – Many people lack commitment to anything, so we should not be surprised if they lack commitment to their business or even themselves. If you are not sold on your business and yourself, what makes you think someone is going to pay you $5, $10, $1000 or $10,000 for your product? If you are not absolutely convinced that you are going to make money in your business, why would someone invest $50,000 or $5,000,000 of their  money with you? You may have heard that some animals can smell fear. Well, people that you interact with in business can smell your commitment level. Be totally committed to making your business work.

5. Being Cheap – There is a difference between properly managing money and just totally shortchanging your business. Anything worthwhile requires investment of time (see number 2) and money. Stop trying to make your business work without investing financially. I have seen a large number of business opportunities over the years including many that claim to require no money. Guess what? That is a big fat lie. Some businesses may require very little financial commitment, but “no money required” is a myth and possibly a scam. You must invest money in your business.

6. Expecting Business Results From a Hobby – If someone has a hobby, they know that it will cost them money and will never yield any profit. Don’t let your business be a hobby. It will be very expensive and frustrating. A hobby is something that you do sporadically as a means to relax. A business is something that you do everyday or on a regular basis because you know you can generate profit. A business cannot be put on a shelf. You should be spending some time in your business everyday if you expect to gain the results of growing and prospering enterprise. 

7. Being a Lone Ranger – You can only reach a certain level of success all by yourself. It may sound very impressive to proclaim that you are a self made man, but I must admit I have never met nor seen anyone that is actually self made.  You need to surround yourself with a team of people that can help you achieve big things. Hire staff or use contract work as soon as it is feasible. Everyone needs mentors or a coach in their life. Do not try to do everything by yourself.

We live in what I like to call a microwave society. A society where everyone wants something immediately. We stand in front of the microwave and get impatient when it takes popcorn more than 60 seconds to pop. We get impatient when flipping through the channels on the TV. If something doesn’t catch our attention in 5 seconds, we are on to the next channel. We have even mastered using split screen television so we can watch multiple things at once.  

Just a few years ago, we waited for the weird garbled sounds that occur when our modem dialed up the internet so that we could wait another 2-3 minutes to see if we “got mail”. Now we are upset when our high speed connection stalls for 5 seconds or a site loads in more than a few seconds.  

We want to make the same amount of money in one month now when it took 3 years at a corporate job to make the same amount. And I thought I was a big shot in that corporate job with my pager and bag phone.  

We leave a message or send an email or text and we get irritated when we do not get an immediate response. It is aggravating to us when there are 2 cars in front of us in the drive thru window.

You get the picture and I am sure you can relate to the things I am talking about and you could probably list many more. The bottom line is that we are a very impatient society and it spills over into every aspect of our lives. We also let it impact our business and our ability to make money.  

We expect immediate profit when we run an online ad for the first time. We expect to make big money as soon as we open our company doors or flip the switch on our website. And when that does not happen, we can often get discouraged and doubts start creeping into our minds. 

I firmly believe that we receive blessings only when God knows we are ready to receive those blessings. Some may call it Karma or the Law of Attraction but the same principle applies. If we get something before we are prepared for it, chances are very high that we will mess things up. Just look at lottery winners that are thrust into quick wealth as an example .  

That is why I also think that most of us have a business that is exactly the size we can handle at this time. A business cannot grow larger than the leadership abilities of it’s owner or management team. That may be a tough pill for some of us to swallow, but deep down inside we know that it is true. I have seen some businesses that grew very fast when the owner was not mentally prepared or the structure was not in place and I cannot think of a business that has made it past the 5 year mark when that occurs. The business begins to disintegrate and implode after a short period of time. 

Now, please do not get me wrong. I believe that it is very possible to make money and build a business very quickly and I also think that some people can grow a business from zero to millions in almost no time. But I also think that the growth in income must be matched by the personal growth of the owner and leader.

In order to do this, it is critical for the leader to embrace the journey instead of constantly measuring results. Get excited about the process of growing and becoming a better person.  

Some people graduate from high school or college and they never pick up another book to read…they may not have read anything while they were in school, either. We were created to become something better everyday:  
a better husband or wife, 
a better parent, 
a better friend,
a better business person, 
and more successful in whatever we choose to pursue on a daily basis.  

Be excited about where you are, but never be content. Be at peace, but not lazy. Remember that life is a process. It is not an event. A process must keep moving or it gets stagnant and can lock up. If you want to move quicker, just pick up the pace of the journey.  

If you are feeling impatient and you want to speed up the process, implement the following in your life:

• Turn off the TV – it kills brain cells
  
• Read more – it stimulates brain cells
  
• Be in a constant mode of education – seminars, etc...
  
• Journal to capture your thoughts
  
• Spend time in prayer or meditation
  
• Exercise or at least move around to keep your blood pumping
  
• Take time to think without distractions
  
• Educate yourself in your area of expertise
  
• Find a mentor or coach that can speed up your journey
  
• Expect to grow every day
  

I recently found a picture that was taken of me with Heavyweight Boxing Champion Evander Holyfield. 

It brought back memories for 2 reasons.

My daughter was in high school at the time and she was participating in her state track meet that weekend. It may be a little bold to say she dominated, but let’s just say she made her Daddy proud!  

For the second year in a row she won the coveted High Point Award for earning the highest number of points during the meet of any other athlete. She was the state champion in the triple jump and she won the 200m dash for the second year in a row. She finished 2nd in the 100m dash by .05 seconds. As she was receiving her plaques, ribbons and trophies, I could not help but think about how great it made me feel to see her achieve and reach her goals. And, I was just as proud for the effort and attitude that she displayed.   

Always Fighting

While I was at my daughter’s track meet, I bumped into another champion – Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield. So there is no confusion, I am the guy on the right in the picture. I guess I am the guy in the picture that is NOT "The Real Deal". 

For those that may not now, Evander is the only boxer that held the Heavyweight Boxing Championship on 4 different occasions. Do you remember Mike Tyson biting off an opponent’s ear? Evander was that opponent. I tried to see how much of his ear was left, but I definitely did not want to be rude and stare!  Evander is the guy that beat Tyson twice. How many people can say they beat Mike Tyson twice. Only Evander!

I noticed 2 things about his physical appearance. First, he was not as tall as I thought he would be. I guess the boxing ring adds a few inches. Second, his hands were the size of cinder blocks. They were huge. 

I can’t say that we had a long conversation.  In fact, I think it would be safe to say he is a man of few words.  

I did ask him if he was still fighting and he responded “Always fighting.”  I really liked that answer. Of course we do know that he has battled many issues since leaving boxing. I cannot imagine what it would be like to pound other boxers and get pounded in the ring, make 100's of millions of dollars only to lose most of it. But I like fighters – people who do not give up easily – they just keep on keeping on. Keep on throwing punches.  

What Are You “Always” Doing?

Evander is well known as a fighter but we should ask ourselves what are we known for?

Are you always complaining? Always making excuses? Always standing still?

Or are you always closing? Always selling? Always marketing? Always working on new business deals? Always building your business? Always moving forward?

As for me, I am always growing and expanding.

And I am "The Real Deal" too!

Tell me what you are always doing in the comments below.

I love to read books about history. I usually have at least one book that I am reading that relates to history in some way. Either a work of fiction based on historical facts (Jeff Shaara and his father Michael have written some great books) or a biography or a factual book about a certain topic. Wars and elections seem to be some of my favorites.  

I recently completed reading one of the most interesting books I have ever read. The title of the book is What If? and it is written by a collection of historians and edited by Robert Cowley. Don’t run out and get it unless you have about two months to read it.  It is over 800 pages and not a quick read. The subtitle of the book states “eminent historians wonder what might have been.”   

The historians take over 45 significant events in history and speculate what would have happened if only a few minor items were changed. It is amazing how significant outcomes hung on very minor issues that could have easily changed the course of history.  

Things such as:

• What if the British army had destroyed Washington’s army early in the Revolutionary War 
  
• What if Napoleon had won at Waterloo 
  
• What if Alexander the Great had not died at such a young age 
  
• What if Robert E. Lee’s secret plans for a march north were not lost by a Confederate courier and discovered by a Union army scout 
  
• What if Hitler had been more aggressive in the Middle East campaign and captured much needed oilfields to fuel his tanks 
  
• What if the D Day invasion of northern Europe in 1944 had failed 
  
• What if Pontius Pilate had spared Jesus life 
  
• What if the Chinese had discovered the American continent in the 15th century 
  
• What if Theodore Roosevelt had won the election of 1912 
  
• What if Pope Pious XII had protested the holocaust instead of remaining silent 
  
• What if our troops had beaten the Russians to Berlin at the close of WWII 
  
• What if we had made the decision not to drop atomic weapons on Japan to end the Pacific side of WWII.

Those of you that do not really care about history are saying so what at this point. The rest of you are at least a little curious at how our world would look today if even one of those what ifs had occurred.  

The funny thing is that we are faced with what ifs every day of our lives. Some people live with regrets and blame past events on their position in life. 

• What if I had finished high school
  
• What if I had a better education 
  
• What if I had a different degree 
  
• What if I had money when I was growing up 
  
• What if I had started my business at a younger age
  
• What if I had married someone different 
  
• What if my health were better
  
• What if I did not have young children 
  
• What if I had more hair 
  
• What if I had less hair 
  
• What if I were taller 
  
• What if I were a man 
  
• What if I were a woman 
  
• What if I were a different race 
  
• What if I lived somewhere else 
  
• What if I were a marketing genius 
  
• What if I had 36 hours in a day, blah, blah, blah blah!!  
  

Excuses all start sounding the same when you put them all together. And we have all entertained thoughts like this at some point. The key is not to dwell on them long and play the what if game for current events instead of the past.

Some people also play in the dream world by asking silly questions such as what if I won the lottery or what if I found a million dollars in a paper bag on the sidewalk. I will not even waste time talking about people that live in a fantasy world. 

Successful people ask what if on a regular day to day basis. Some people call it faith but it is basically taking action now instead of waiting and wishing that something good is going to happen.

Ask yourself the following simple questions as you go though your day:

• What if I got up a little earlier in the morning
  
• What if I did a few pushups or sit-ups today
  
• What if I spent some quiet time in prayer or reflection today
  
• What if I feed my brain by reading at least 15 minutes in a positive attitude book today
  
• What if I skip watching TV today
  
• What if I smile a little more today
  
• What if only positive words came out of my mouth today
  
• What if I tell my spouse how special she is to me today
  
• What if I encourage my children today
  
• What if I spent some time talking and listening to my spouse today
  
• What if I eat less junk food today
  
• What if I planned my day instead of just reacting to emergencies
  
• What if I spent some focused time working on strategic projects instead of answering the phone or emails
  
• What if I invested more time in my business today
  
• What if I spent 30 minutes thinking about my business strategy
  
• What if I spent 1 hour working on marketing for my business today
  
• What if I called 5 potential clients today
  
• What if I took some time to educate myself on a new topic today
  
• What if I did just a little bit more today
  

This list may seem long but that is the process that we go through every minute of every day.  Life is not about luck or chance.  Life is about small decisions that we make on a minute by minute and day to day basis.  We are where we are in life today because of decisions and actions from our past.  You can make your own history today by making small but powerful decisions. 

I was told by a mentor years ago that if an individual or business is not growing, it is dying. I am not sure if it is that black and white, but I am extremely confident that growing and expanding is more exciting and profitable 98% of the time. But growth can be elusive and difficult to obtain when you are stuck in the day to day minutia of running a business or an organization. 

Almost every business, organization, church, project, sales team or leader has experienced some if not all of the following thoughts:

 - The startup excitement phase has worn off.
 - You and the business are making money, but it is not the big payday you were expecting.
 - It is difficult to imagine the business or organization being bigger without it requiring massive amount of time and energy on your part.
 - Working harder and more hours has only caused exhaustion and frustrated you and your family or team.
 - The organization may not be going backwards, but it is definitely not growing.
 - If we just had more (capital, good employees, customers, members, leads, etc...), then life would be great!
 - There are days…and nights..that you question whether or not you made the right decision by starting this company or organization.
 - You have fleeting moments where you daydream that you could just start over, but that is almost impossible now.

While it would be easy to blame the economy, employees, lack of money or any other excuse for a dying business or organization, it has been my experience that barriers to growth can be categorized into 3 main areas:

Revenue
I have never coached, consulted or owned a business that would not have responded positively to new or additional revenue streams. I can even say that organizations that add people such as civic groups and churches see an increase in growth and momentum when new people walk through the doors and join. New business, new revenue, new customers, new members and new ideas are the gasoline that can ignite positive momentum in a business, organization or group. And most families and individuals would be very excited to add more revenue streams into the household budget. 

Revenue Question: What can you do today to add new revenue or new business to the organization?

Structure
When a building is built, the foundation is critical because the entire structure must rest its weight on the foundation. If the foundation is weak, then the building will not be able to withstand the pressure of the building, but especially the pressure of people, equipment, wind and storms. Business and organizations are no different. I do not totally agree with the Field of Dreams “build it and they will come” philosophy, but I do know that it will be difficult for an organization that meets in a room with 20 chairs to have 100 members. Or a business that has the ability to produce 5 widgets a month will never be able to sell 20. Facilities, processes, systems and organization should be in place to allow the business to stretch to new levels.

Structure Question: Is the structure in place for your business or organization to grow by 10% or more?

Leader
In the early 90’s I read a Leadership book by John Maxwell.  In the book he discussed the “Law of the Lid” where he stated that organizations cannot grow beyond the leadership abilities of the leader. That principle has always stayed with me through the years with every company or team I have consulted or coached. If the leader is stuck and not growing, then the organization or business is most likely stuck and not growing. As a leader you should be reading more, learning more, and growing your thought process and mental abilities more than anyone in the organization. If the leader is stagnant, then the business will eventually get stinky and die.
 
Leadership Question: What can you do as a leader to prepare yourself for a larger business or organization?

Tim Winders has over 25 years experience as a business owner, entrepreneur, coach and consultant. He founded Accelerate Growth NOW to provide business owners with the training, coaching and resources to double, triple and 10X their business. To learn more and to claim your FREE business growth resources, visit AccelerateGrowthNOW.com.

Actually you should do this everyday. It should become a habit. It is so simple that most people do not even think about it. It will make you feel alive and your head will hit the pillow at night with the satisfaction that you did something simple but great today. And you may have changed the world.

But before I tell you what that one thing is, let me tell you 2 stories. And you must read to the end to get to The One Thing.

A Free Coat and a Personal Guided Tour

Last month, I was on a flight from Brisbane to Auckland. I was sitting in the middle seat of a 3 seat wide row. To my right was my beautiful wife staring out at the ocean from her window seat. To my left was a mature gentleman that looked to be in his 70's. I asked him my standard airplane icebreaker question, "you going home or leaving home?”

Two hours later, Theo and I were still chatting about anything and everything before we each decided to shut our eyes to catch a quick nap before we landed. We could still be talking.

I found out that Theo was Dutch and had been to Europe where he was from before he immigrated to New Zealand many years ago. He had also stopped in Brisbane to visit one of his children before he flew back to his home in Picton, New Zealand via Auckland.

Now here is the really cool part of the story. Picton is a city, well more of a small town, that sits on the north side of the Southern Island of New Zealand. Picton’s claim to fame is that the ferry that connects the Northern and Southern Islands of New Zealand travels between Wellington on the North Island and Picton on the South Island. I knew that we would be traveling on the ferry in about 7 days and I mentioned this to Theo. He insisted that we stop by his home in Picton when we exited the ferry and let him take us on a personal tour of the area. We said yes and we had a great visit with him the afternoon that we arrived in Picton.

But this story gets even better!

During our conversation on the plane, I mentioned to Theo that my wife and I had been traveling for some time and that we really traveled light and did not carry many clothes with us. We were leaving the warm weather of Brisbane and arriving in the cooler climate of New Zealand so we would probably be stopping in one of the local stores and picking up a few supplies - like a coat, hats and gloves!

We sat and talked about some other topics, took our naps and then before we exited the plane he asked, “did you say you were going to buy a coat?”

I answered “yes.”

He told me that he had a coat he wanted to give me and I responded great.  

I am always ready and willing to accept a blessing.  

I thought he meant that I could get a coat from him when we arrived in Picton a few days later. So I told him that I would probably still need to get some cold weather gear to wear for the next 7 days. 

It always helps to clarify things.  

He pointed to the overhead bin and said the coat was up there and it was brand new. He had just been given the coat from his family in Brisbane and he said I could have it. I did not argue.  

I told him I would wear it for 3 months while I was enjoying the New Zealand winter and then I would donate it to someone before I left the country. We have done that in multiple locations as we have traveled and it is a great way to spread the blessings around. And there is no doubt that those seeds come up in places like New Zealand.

I was excited and warm as I walked off the plane in my incredible fighter jacket from my new friend from Picton, Theo. My wife and I shared the coat as we camped for 12 days and we said a prayer of thanks for Theo every time we put it on.

We All Choked Up When She Told Us About Her Husband

Fast forward to this month. After camping and traveling we are now settling in to a small town in the central area of the South Island. After a few weeks of rest and isolation and work, we were almost startled by a knock at the door.

Trish from next door was stopping by to say hello to her new neighbors, even if we were only going to be there for a few months. We invited her in and had a nice chat about the neighborhood, the weather, potatoes (Kiwis love their potatoes) and her children that are scattered all over the country.

I had noticed that she had a sign at the front of her house that said "Woodturning." My guess was that her husband did wood work and had a lathe and other woodworking tools on his property. As I had passed the house on one of my jogs, I even thought that I should stop in and visit and possibly learn a few things about wood working. Or woodturning as they call it here in New Zealand.

I am always wanting to ask questions to keep a conversation moving, so I asked her about the sign in the front of the house.

She paused and said that the woodturning shop was her late husbands. She went on to say that congestive heart failure had caused his death earlier this year. It was very obvious that she had a special relationship that had been cut way too short. Even if they had been married for half a century.

The air in the room just seemed to be heavier than it was earlier. And I really just ached to give her a hug.

She told us about a chair that he had started making for her before he died. The chair was designed to match another chair in their home. He only had time to finish 2 legs and she commented that should could not get rid of the chair legs that he had carefully turned on his lathe. But she did not know what to do with only 2 legs. We all forced smiles as she shared the story, but it seemed as if a sudden dust had blown in our eyes as they welled up. And it felt like I had a lump the size of a baseball in my throat. My bottom lip may have even quivered a bit.

It was that moment in a conversation where you are not really sure what to say next.  

She told me that I could come visit the woodturning shop anytime. She had not changed anything since her husband had died.  Had not even touched it.

We let her know that she could call on us if she needed anything. I volunteered to move firewood or help clean up and organize if she decided to tackle that task.

I touched her on the shoulder as she walked out the door, not really knowing if a hug would be appropriate. It was the only way I knew to convey my sincere grief for her loss.

After we closed the door, I turned to my wife and gave her a hug. A real hug that let’s someone know that you are thankful that they are in your life.

These are not just stories to entertain. I told them to make a point. To show how you and I can do one thing to change the world.

Now that I have your attention and have softened you up, are you ready for the secret to change the world?  

Here it is: 

Get out of your comfort zone and have a meaningful face to face conversation with a complete and total stranger today.   

And then do the same thing tomorrow and the next day and the next day......

Facebook and Twitter and Instagram do not count. Reading or writing a blog post does not count. Hanging out with the same people every day does not count. Find someone you have never met before.  Or let someone find you.

Look someone in the eyes, shake their hand, give them a pat on the back, ask questions about who they are, give them an encouraging word and let them know that they matter.

John Lennon asked us to imagine. Imagine what the world would be like if 1 million people decide to meet someone new everyday and look that person in the eyes and have a real life conversation? It all starts with you.

Theo and Trish impacted my life. I can only hope that I impacted their lives also. 

Go change the world today.  

And share any cool stories you have about meeting complete strangers in the comments section below. I would love to hear your story.

Tim Winders has over 25 years experience as a business owner, entrepreneur, coach and consultant. He founded Accelerate Growth NOW to provide business owners with the training, coaching and resources to double, triple and 10X their business. To learn more and to claim your FREE business growth resources, visit AccelerateGrowthNOW.com.