Words mean something.
Many people claim that their “word is their bond."
In business, we have contracts with detailed explanations so that both parties in the agreement understand what they have committed to.
Unfortunately, many people break and violate contracts and commitments on a daily basis.
Our most important commitment - the wedding vow - also gets abused on a daily basis.
When we say our wedding vows to our spouse in front of God and everyone we typically promise to cherish and adore our beautiful bride until death do us part.
Sometimes men do not pay attention to what they actually said. Or they forget. Or maybe they do not understand what a vow actually is. Or it could be that they do not know what it means to cherish and adore.
In Stephen R. Covey’s classic book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he introduces the relationship concept of the Emotional Bank Account (EBA). The basic premise of the EBA is that relationships are like bank accounts and the people involved can make deposits or withdrawals into the account. It should be obvious that a healthy account is one that has a positive balance and consistent deposits. On the flip side, an account is unhealthy if withdrawals are constantly made and the account balance remains in a deficit situation or overdrawn.
Both bank accounts and relationships can have serious penalties and fees inflicted if the account balance is low and additional withdrawals are attempted which lead to repeated negative balances. Or the account can also be closed if the account holders really abuse the privilege.
There are many nuances and takeaways from this metaphor or analogy, but the most important lesson is to evaluate our bank account/relationship activity and determine if we are making deposits or withdrawals on a regular basis.
As a success-minded business person and husband, we should always be looking for opportunities to make deposits into the lives of those that are important in our lives. The most important being our marriage and our spouse.
Use these 5 big money tips as a daily guide to make regular deposits into the EBA of your spouse’s account.
Listen - The comment “he just doesn’t listen to me” has been spoken in far too many marriages. To be a good, effective listener, you must pay attention to the other person. Make eye contact, nod in agreement, acknowledge statements, ask questions, don’t multitask and of course make sure you are in the same room. And do not try to be the problem solver for everything she says.
Touch - This may not be the type of touch that men desire. Touch does not mean sex, but it could. Hold hands. Give her a gentle caress of the back of her neck when you are out in public or sitting next to her. My personal favorite is the affectionate pat on her bottom as you walk by so that she knows that you are paying attention.
Encourage - I am amazed at the words that come out of some people’s mouths. I am even more amazed that the words are directed at people that they claim to care for. Guard what comes out of your mouth. Compliment your wife. Tell her that you love her. Tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Search for reasons to encourage and uplift her with your words. Yesterdays words do not count. Start fresh each day.
Give - My wife loves getting gifts. They do not have to be extravagant and expensive presents. Just a small trinket every so often lets her know that I am thinking about her. Flowers, written notes, a small article of clothing or even a gift of food every few weeks will let her know she is your treasure.
Study - This may be the most important action step. Every person is different. Your spouse is different than my wife. She may love encouraging words more than physical touch. But unless you study her to determine what makes her tick, you may just be wasting effort treating her the way you want to be treated. My wife loves to have her feet rubbed. That is always my “go to move” if I need to make some positive deposits into my wife’s Emotional Bank Account. You must study your spouse so that you know how to make healthy deposits into her account.
As a final test you should ask yourself this question multiple times everyday:
If someone observed your marriage 24/7, would there be enough visible evidence to prove that she is your cherished and adored treasure?
Many people claim that their “word is their bond."
In business, we have contracts with detailed explanations so that both parties in the agreement understand what they have committed to.
Unfortunately, many people break and violate contracts and commitments on a daily basis.
Our most important commitment - the wedding vow - also gets abused on a daily basis.
When we say our wedding vows to our spouse in front of God and everyone we typically promise to cherish and adore our beautiful bride until death do us part.
Sometimes men do not pay attention to what they actually said. Or they forget. Or maybe they do not understand what a vow actually is. Or it could be that they do not know what it means to cherish and adore.
In Stephen R. Covey’s classic book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he introduces the relationship concept of the Emotional Bank Account (EBA). The basic premise of the EBA is that relationships are like bank accounts and the people involved can make deposits or withdrawals into the account. It should be obvious that a healthy account is one that has a positive balance and consistent deposits. On the flip side, an account is unhealthy if withdrawals are constantly made and the account balance remains in a deficit situation or overdrawn.
Both bank accounts and relationships can have serious penalties and fees inflicted if the account balance is low and additional withdrawals are attempted which lead to repeated negative balances. Or the account can also be closed if the account holders really abuse the privilege.
There are many nuances and takeaways from this metaphor or analogy, but the most important lesson is to evaluate our bank account/relationship activity and determine if we are making deposits or withdrawals on a regular basis.
As a success-minded business person and husband, we should always be looking for opportunities to make deposits into the lives of those that are important in our lives. The most important being our marriage and our spouse.
Use these 5 big money tips as a daily guide to make regular deposits into the EBA of your spouse’s account.
Listen - The comment “he just doesn’t listen to me” has been spoken in far too many marriages. To be a good, effective listener, you must pay attention to the other person. Make eye contact, nod in agreement, acknowledge statements, ask questions, don’t multitask and of course make sure you are in the same room. And do not try to be the problem solver for everything she says.
Touch - This may not be the type of touch that men desire. Touch does not mean sex, but it could. Hold hands. Give her a gentle caress of the back of her neck when you are out in public or sitting next to her. My personal favorite is the affectionate pat on her bottom as you walk by so that she knows that you are paying attention.
Encourage - I am amazed at the words that come out of some people’s mouths. I am even more amazed that the words are directed at people that they claim to care for. Guard what comes out of your mouth. Compliment your wife. Tell her that you love her. Tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Search for reasons to encourage and uplift her with your words. Yesterdays words do not count. Start fresh each day.
Give - My wife loves getting gifts. They do not have to be extravagant and expensive presents. Just a small trinket every so often lets her know that I am thinking about her. Flowers, written notes, a small article of clothing or even a gift of food every few weeks will let her know she is your treasure.
Study - This may be the most important action step. Every person is different. Your spouse is different than my wife. She may love encouraging words more than physical touch. But unless you study her to determine what makes her tick, you may just be wasting effort treating her the way you want to be treated. My wife loves to have her feet rubbed. That is always my “go to move” if I need to make some positive deposits into my wife’s Emotional Bank Account. You must study your spouse so that you know how to make healthy deposits into her account.
As a final test you should ask yourself this question multiple times everyday:
If someone observed your marriage 24/7, would there be enough visible evidence to prove that she is your cherished and adored treasure?
Tim Winders has over 25 years experience as a business owner, entrepreneur, coach and consultant. He specializes in helping businesses, organizations and individuals grow and expand. If it is time for you or your business to get unstuck and experience increase, CLICK HERE to schedule a FREE Growth Assessment and Strategy Call with Tim.
